The Answer is Blowing in the Wind
by Lyrical Rawr
Summary: Maya finds out some things about Phoenix from a few strange phone calls.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Phoenix Wright or any of those characters. I 'nicked' the title name from an annoying song I heard, I don't own that either.

**A/N:** Ok, so I was a bit drunk when I started this…(why the hell I wrote a fanfic when I got home I shall never, ever know) but I came back to my computer in the morning and decided it wasn't too bad, ok it's pretty badly written but the idea is there, haha :)

**Warning:** References to indecency and the slightest, teensiest bit of slash/yaoi suggestion sneaked in.

-o-

Maya sat waiting patiently at Phoenix's desk. She was tapping along to the Steel Samurai theme tune (no matter how old that TV show was the tune was so god dammed catchy) on the worn surface while staring at the door like it had just insulted her repeatedly.

How was she supposed to know that defence attorneys did things other than sit at desks shuffling meaningless papers and pointing the finger at prosecutors?

Argh… men.

At last the door shyly crept open to reveal a shifty-looking man, his hair was standing on end a bit more than normal but other than that he looked the same old, blue suited lawyer.

He looked down at his watch and then back up at the young woman "Hey Maya! I wasn't expecting you for like another hour." Phoenix smiled at her warmly and threw his briefcase across the room onto the blue sofa.

"There's nothing wrong with being slightly early to see a good friend is there now?" she folded her arms and stared back at him.

He laughed "No no, I'm glad to see you. How long have you been waiting?"

"Ah, not too long," she lied "It's great to see you again Nick! I thought you said you would be in the office all day?"

"Erm… yea well you see I …um… went somewhere." Phoenix's hand shot up to behind his neck and he had a sheepish smile on his face.

"I kind of guessed as much. I don't suppose you could tell me where you have just been?" she probed and got up to make them both some instant coffee.

"It doesn't really matter. Nothing big..." Suddenly the phone rang "I'll get it!" as Phoenix dived for the handset Maya smoothly picked it up before he could reach it.

"Hello, Wright and Co. Law Offices, how can I help you?" she stuck her tongue out at Phoenix as he looked worriedly towards the phone Maya was holding.

"I never knew Phoenix had a secretary! Well, you learn something new everyday." Some high pitched laughter rang through the phone and Maya had to hold it back a few inches.

"I am not some secretary, I am in fact Nick's partner!" Maya said heatedly and was followed by some more irritating laughter.

"Oh I'm sorry, Phoenix is already in a relationship…"

"Wha…? No, I meant as in business partner." She blushed and looked at Phoenix questioningly; he only managed a slight shrug as he could only hear the one side of this phone conversation.

-More laughter- "Silly me. Well, is the man in question there?"

"Uh… Would you like me to give him a message?"

"Tell him same time in a month for another for me please dear."

"S…sure, well, thanks for ringing, I'll pass on your message, bye!"

"Oh, by the way, that's for a blow..." Maya quickly dropped the phone onto the receiver before the woman could finish (she wasn't sure if she'd enjoy the rest of that sentance, the word 'blow' startled her) and then turned to give Phoenix a questioning look.

"What? Who was it Maya?"

"I don't know, she just said to tell you 'the same time in a month'."

"Ah…_ she_… right." Phoenix suddenly relaxed and picked up his coffee from the coffee maker and started to drink it.

"She also said something about a…relationship." The coffee was spat so very far across the room that it could rival a professional spitter's effort.

"R…relationship, ah yes, about that…."

"Oh, don't worry, she seemed really nice. Are you going back for a 'blow' in a month?" Maya winked at a confused looking Phoenix. Unfortunately, he could not see the apostrophe marks.

"I can forgive her for telling you I was involved, it's not like I told her to specifically not tell any random girl who happens to pick up _my_ phone in _my _office. Yea, I might go back. She's not one of the best, but quite cheap, how's my hair?" He stroked the back of his hair after this and then saw Maya looking at him in disbelief.

"WHAT!? Cheap? You're paying her for it?" Maya looked enraged and Phoenix flinched at her glare.

"She's got to make an earning Maya, it's her profession." He quickly grabbed a cloth from inside his desk draw and proceeded to mop up the mixture of spit and coffee from off the carpet to avoid her gaze.

"…her profession?"

"How do you think I get my hair to stick in its spiky way so well?" Could he possibly be suggesting he uses…that...on his hair? Ewwwww! Maya heaved.

"Nick, surely you don't need to pay someone for it. That's… pimp-ish! You're a pimp! Are you sure a good… er… well wank would suffice?" He looked up from his position off the floor and raised an eyebrow at her.

"Are we talking about the same thing here?"

"About you paying someone for a quickie around the back you mean?"

"Round the back?"

"Yes, you obviously don't do it in the front, do you?"

"Why shouldn't I do 'it' in the front?" Whatever 'it' was. Phoenix showed his apostrophe marks with bent fingers.

"Stop answering questions with questions! It's irritating." Maya rested her head in her hand and rubbed her temples. "I didn't think you were the kind of person to pay someone for a blowjob every month Nick, to be fair I'm appalled. I thought I knew you… and if you think that is what you can class as a relationship then that's even worse!"

He looked puzzled for a bit, and then slowly put the pieces together; Maya had put two and two together and got five. Phoenix then started to laugh but quickly stifled the chuckles when Maya kicked him.

"What's so funny? I'm trying to be serious here!"

"S…sorry Maya it's just…ha… it's just I thought you meant 'blow' as in 'hair dry', not as in…hehe… 'blowjob'." She looked down at him, very bewildered.

"…huh?"

"Oh Maya," He got up and gave her a hug then leaned back "She's my hairdresser, you dolt." She hit him firmly on the arm and then blushed ferociously at her mistake.

"Oh. Sorry." Maya looked down onto her sandals and shuffled around a bit, Phoenix patted her on the back.

"It's alright, you weren't to know. I'm a bit shocked that you think I could do something like that though." She smirked at him and then re-thought the whole embarrassing conversation. "So, who _are_ you in a relationship with then Nick?"

Phoenix managed to drop his cloth and trip over his desk at the same time.

"…forget it."

"Awh come on! You can tell little, young me." She gave him the best flattering smile she could muster. Any gossip was good gossip in her book.

"No."

"No?"

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes.

"Yes I know you said yes but yes what?"

"Yes that yes it is indeed a no.

"What's a no?"

"No, I won't tell you."

"Is that a no I won't tell you what a no is or is the no that you won't tell me?"

"The no is the fact that I won't tell you who I'm fuc…um… seeing."

Maya sighed; this was going to take a long time. "Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!"

"No, I'm sorry Maya but I'm afraid of what you'll think of them, heck, I'm afraid you'll think I've completely lost it."

She scoffed at this remark "You know I'll be your BESTEST buddy, sidekick, partner, sister, mate, friend, advisor and critic no matter what, right?"

"I do, and don't get me wrong, I appreciate that." Well, if words weren't going to work…

Maya pounced onto Phoenix and started to tickle the living daylights out of him. "Tell me Nick, you know you want to!"

"N…ahaha…n…ha…no!" He was caving in, she knew it. If only the bloody phone hadn't rung again.

Phoenix and Maya froze, he very ungracefully pushed her off with a small 'oof' and hastily reached up for the handset accidentally knocking the speakerphone button.

"Hello, Phoenix Wright speaking."

"Ph…Wright, where the buggering hell are you?" Miles Edgeworth's angry tones rang around the room.

"Um, something unexpected has crept up an hour early. Mi… Edgeworth I kind of have a vis…"

"You have what? You have a plausible reason for standing me up? Wright, I am _not_ just some person you can mess around whenever you please!"

"I swear I'm not messing you round my lov… erm… _least_ favourite prosecutor in the whole world." He glanced at Maya with wide blue eyes and panic setting in. "Those…documents can wait till tomorrow, right?"

"…documents? I'm not talking about some sodding documents, you smexy idiot! I was talking about a repeat performance of last ni…."

"Did I forget to mention, I have a visitor on speakerphone. Maya, say hi to Edgeworth." It would have been better if he knew how to turn the dammed thing off, but that's the problem with having trouble dealing with fiddly buttons and the like.

"Uh… hey Mr Edgeworth." She was a bit startled by this weird conversation that was happening in front of her.

"Oh. Hello Miss Fey."

There was a very, very long and awkward pause.

"Wright, the…ah…documents can wait till tomorrow, of course. When can you bring them?"

"How about tomorrow at around midday, I'll drop by your hous…. office."

"Very good. I really do_ not_ look forward to it. It is going to be the _worst _part of my day having to see your perfectly formed arse. I mean…! I am going to kick you in the arse if you stand me up again, you stupid defence attorney."

"I don't ever want to make it up to you Miles as you are a snobbish prosecutor, but what would happen if I did?" Miles? Maya was seriously freaked at this now.

"I get top."

"WHAT?!" both Phoenix and Maya shouted

"I said; I get the top documents. You have to sort the rest out Phoenix. I mean, Wright."

"You're a cruel man Edgeworth." Oh, Maya bet he was, this was getting incredibly weirder by the second.

"Please, Mr Edgeworth, Nick, stop. What on earth is going on here?"

"Nothing." They said in unison.

"That… that is not nothing!"

"What is nothing Maya?"

She sighed "Nothing, it's nothing."

"Ok, good, well, goodbye Miles, I will be seeing you soon I_ don't_ hope."

"You can not say 'don't hope', it is not proper English."

"Shut it." Phoenix could visualise that smirk on Miles face in his mind.

"Goodbye Miss Fey, Wright." The line went dead at the other end and Phoenix quickly dropped the phone onto the receiver.

"Well, that was interesting." Maya raised her eyebrows up at the shuffling man.

"So…do you still want to know who I'm seeing?"

Maya pondered on this and then answered "No, I think you should keep it to yourself for fear of me becoming a mad fan-girl and stalking you both everywhere."

"Good, just forget that ever happened please Maya." He looked down hopefully at her

"I think I might need some persuasion…" Phoenix's eyebrows knitted together "It'd just be nice if you took me out to lunch, say for burgers, and seeing as though you're such a good friend you can pay the bill." He got the hint.

"Gladly, my favourite buddy, sidekick, partner, sister, mate, friend, advisor and critic." Phoenix linked arms with Maya and lead her out the door to the best burger joint he could find.

**Fin**


End file.
